Most of us do not realize how powerful our subconscious is. This part of our mind has a huge influence on our actions and inactions. Many of us attribute our failures and lack of success to bad luck. We go on with our lives not fully aware that we have got everything to do with the events of our lives through subconscious sabotage. The truth is we are the ones that create the circumstances that make us fail.
What can we do to triumph over self-sabotage? The first step is to become fully aware of our fears and emotions. Once we are aware of the causes that lead to unproductive actions, we can then proceed to prevent these things from happening again.
What happens when we inflict self-sabotage? Let’s look at the repeated lack of success of many people who say they want to lose weight. Most fail to get the outcome they aim for. What we need to ask is “Do these people really want to lose weight?”
Even if they say so, they may actually feel secure with what they have. They may have doubts about what will happen when they lose weight and are actually frightened about it. Inwardly, they might feel as if losing weight will expose them. So even if they say they are doing everything to lose weight, they do not control their diet, neglect to exercise, and keep making excuses. Here’s another example. A huge number of individuals fail to show up for interviews, including those that are offered highly desirable positions. They may have valid reasons, but their subconscious might have created these situations. Perhaps a stay-at-home-mom decides she needs to return to the workforce to earn money for her family.
What she really wants is to stay home with her children, but she feels obligated to get a job outside the home. So instead of applying for the perfect position, she applies for jobs that she knows she’s not qualified for, or jobs that require hours incompatible with her family’s schedule so she has to turn down the job if it’s offered. Subconsciously, that’s her way of ensuring she won’t have to leave home, and at least she can say she “tried” to get a job.
These people might have the subconscious belief that they do not deserve the outcome mainly because they are concerned about how others will perceive when the new status quo is achieved. What they do is to unknowingly act such that they end up failing.
Self-sabotage is unconsciously done and even the saboteur does not know that he is just fooling himself. The doubt and uncertainty in their mind makes them do certain things that would ensure failure instead of success. Outwardly, they claim that they have done their best but luck is not on their side. Does this describe your own behaviors in the past? Have you been your own saboteur and how many times did this happen? If you are not achieving your goals even if you are doing everything you think you are capable of then, think on it. The good news is that we can overcome this self-destructive behavior. The first and most crucial step is to learn to recognize that it is happening. We can do this by developing the skill to be consciously aware of our emotions, thoughts, and actions.
What you can do not is sit down and look back at the past setbacks that prevented you from achieving your objectives. Could you have avoided all those obstacles? If there are too many things that came up to prevent you from succeeding then you might have unconsciously committed self-sabotage.